#4. Things that make me happy

This post will act as a mental break for both of us. A pause from my introspection in writing and from your empathy or sympathy in reading. It’s good to take breaks! I decided to make a post that included some of the things that give me joy, to remind both of us to practice gratitude. Though a list of things that “make me happy” may not necessarily be word for word things that I am “grateful for”, they are not exclusive.

This advice is basically public knowledge but making a list of very specific things that you are grateful for helps you shift your perspective away from the negative thoughts that cloud your mind.

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#3. Grieving the loss of a relationship

Disclaimer: I’m not an expert and the following are thoughts that I hope will spur on a dialogue so we can exchange ideas. If anything, I hope that if anyone identifies with these stories that they find comfort in knowing they are not alone.

Our health can take a huge hit after the end of any sort of relationship. However, our mental health may take the biggest toll. One of the things that I started doing after the end of my relationship with my family was beginning a grieving process. I have never hated my family nor resented them (too much) but instead, I became very sad. This confused me for a long time but I realized that I missed them so strongly that this feeling overpowered any other. I subsequently developed a very unhealthy tendency for rumination on the topic.

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#2. Why don’t you just fix things?

Disclaimer: I’m not an expert and the following are thoughts that I hope will spur on a dialogue so we can exchange ideas. If anything, I hope that if anyone identifies with these stories that they find comfort in knowing they are not alone.

I’ve been asked this question about the broken relationship with my parents so many times. My first reply is always: “I have already tried”.

I see where people are coming from when they ask this. Usually, the perspective they take is one wherein a parent unconditionally loves a child. In their minds, they have no doubt that a parent can “get over” the fact that their child is queer. Surely, I could have reached a compromise, or so I’ve been told. The face I usually get in response to “I’ve been down that road and in my situation, the light at the end of the tunnel is currently out,” is one of shock and confusion.

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#1. Introduction: a coming out of sorts

Hello, Reader. I’m KO (pseudonym), I was rejected by my parents upon coming out (long story), and this blog post has been a long time coming.

This is not a new story because queer people have been coming out and getting rejected for centuries and likely, millennia. As a side note; for an uplifting article which breezes through queer history and is something that I often read when I’m feeling down, please click here. Thank you, Sarah Prager. You’ve helped me on countless occasions.

However, my story is my own as yours may be and I’m trying something new where sharing it might help both of us. However, I’m going to try not to turn this into a diary of sorts and rather, foster a discussion about who we are as children of parents with whom we have fraught relationships, and what we can and should do about it. I don’t claim to be an expert in how to deal with abandonment, I only hope to spur on a dialogue and “find my tribe”, as RuPaul would say.

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